One of the biggest criticisms of the Pro-Life Movement in America today is that we are pro-birth and not actually pro-life. Like most ideas that involve #LiberalLogic, this doesn’t make much sense to me. I am the president of a club that’s working ridiculously hard to raise the money for a scholarship that will make a lasting impact on young parents and their ability to get a degree while parenting their children. WE ARE HELPING PEOPLE TO DO BOTH, HAVE BOTH, AND BE BOTH. No “choices” necessary. This project is going to help students stay in school, be incredible parents, and avoid the stress and heartache of feeling like they have to make one of the hardest decisions of their lives. Bonus points for no post-abortive depression!
That’s not all, I know of multiple other groups doing similar projects and working tirelessly to make sure that moms and dads experiencing unexpected pregnancies not only know their rights, but also have all the resources they need to take on life’s greatest adventure: parenthood. They’re encouraging people to do this while still excelling in other aspects of their lives (careers, education, hobbies, etc.). Tell me again how that’s only being pro-birth? I’d actually call it pro-not-having-to-make-a-hard-sucky-life-altering-decision. Which, ya know, is pretty neat. And stuff.
Wanting to do anything other than empower these men and women (cough cough promoting abortion as the only option) is SO not pro-choice. Well, it is, but only by our society’s ridiculous standards. Why wouldn’t you want to empower your peers to have it all? Why shoot them down and tell them they can’t handle something instead of showing them all of the reasons that they can? Wasn’t the “Women’s March on Washington” <insert eye roll here> all about empowering women? And instead you people are trying to convince them that they can’t be a student and a mother? Be a successful career woman and mother? Puhh-lease.
So, long story short, activists on both sides of the issue should be supporting these women. However, this post isn’t really about women. It’s about men.
Though often overlooked in these situations, men play a pretty big role in the whole unexpected pregnancy thing. So big of a role, in fact, that pregnancy can’t exactly happen without them…but that’s all I have to say about that.
What I do want to talk about is the rights that men have when these circumstances arise. Did you know that men don’t really have any say at all when it comes to the life of their unborn children? Most people don’t, but in 1976 the Supreme Court ruled that because “a husband’s refusal to consent would in effect veto a woman’s choice to terminate a pregnancy,” the woman’s opinion prevails. Case closed. (Source)
I can understand the logic that if two people disagree on a matter, the opinion of the person more closely affected by issue should carry a little more weight. HOWEVER, that’s not even close to all that there is to consider here. Whether or not to have an abortion is not just a matter of two people disagreeing about what to do. There’s a third person involved; a third person that deserves the chance to live.
If you’ve read much from this blog, you know how I feel about a baby’s right to life, and again, this post is about the men involved so let’s circle around to reason number two that these laws are senseless and unjustifiable: the damage this woman’s decision can have on the man. It’s undoubtedly a stereotype in our culture that the man is typically the one that wants the woman to “take care of it,” and there are plenty of dads out there that don’t really want to be dads, but I personally know plenty of stand-up guys that would GLADLY keep and parent their children, whether or not the mother wanted to be in the picture. They are respectable, responsible, hard working men that recognize the value of their unborn child’s life and would do anything in their power to provide for said child. So why aren’t we letting them do that? WHY, WHY, WHY are we standing in the way of men that are trying to do the right thing?!?!?!?!
Proponents for these laws are surely screaming at me that I must not care about the woman’s part in all of this but I assure you that I most certainly do. I am a 21-year-old woman that desperately wants to be a mom to a whole handful of kids SOMEDAY. However, I am in no way, shape, or form ready for children of my own any time soon and I honestly don’t ever see myself wanting to be pregnant or give birth (I wanna adopt ALL the babies). I know a lot of girls around my age that look forward to it, and yes, I know I am quite often the exception to the rule. Having biological children does not look like any fun to me whatsoever. So, yes, I get not wanting to go through with it.
Trust me when I tell ya: I get that the woman’s body undergoes drastic changes, I get that nine months of not feeling great and getting bigger by the day isn’t much fun, and I totally get that the postpartum effects when you get to keep your child are difficult (much less when you never get to see your child again). I can’t imagine having to give up a baby that I carried to term and gave birth to. But I also can’t imagine making a decision that would end a human life, no matter how vulnerable or small that human happens to be. Is that what we should do every time someone is weak or defenseless? Kill them? Hard nope. And ESPECIALLY when there is a good man ready to take on the responsibility of raising that human life!
The laws that take any and all say away from fathers don’t even make any sense. The rationale is that it’s better for the mother but do we really believe that? What about the negative effects abortion has on women? There are plenty of physical AND emotional impacts left on post-abortive women. See here, here, and here. Just to name a few…
So let’s get this straight, we need to take away a father’s right to parent his child because the mother does not want said child. Even if the father agrees to take full responsibility of the child, we can and should still take away his ability to do so because of the effects it will have on the mother. In allowing this woman to go through with an abortion, we are subjecting her to a process that not only has comparably bad effects on her physical and emotional health, but also devastates the father, AND KILLS AN INNOCENT HUMAN LIFE. It makes sense if ya don’t think about it. Truly.
Honestly ladies, so many of y’all sit around and complain that men today don’t care enough about their futures and aren’t family-oriented enough, so why are we penalizing the men who are? I will be the first to defend you if you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy and he’s not on board. I will fight for your right to carry that baby to term and parent, or put it up for adoption. I will do everything in my power to eliminate any pressure he might be placing on you to terminate the pregnancy. So why wouldn’t I do the same for him? Don’t tell me it’s because having a baby is hard on you emotionally or physically, because ABORTION. IS. TOO. It’s not a quick fix. It’s not a good solution, or a safe option. It’s detrimental to the health of every single person involved, especially the baby.
I hate that this is even a conversation that needs to be had. Abortion should not even be an option because, not only is it dangerous, it’s unjustifiable, AND it’s killing, which, according to my understanding, is illegal in the U.S. of A. However, until we can get rid of the ridiculous precedents set forth in Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton, this is a conversation that we NEED to have because we are ruining the lives of so many men by not having it. The laws that are supposed to be there to protect our citizens are actually damaging to them and I am so not okay with that. Our men deserve the right and the opportunity to step forward and do the right thing. It’s a crying shame that our government wants to stand in the way of that, and accepting it is only contributing to the problem. If women were forced to have abortions because the man didn’t want the child, both sides would be screaming about it. How’s that for a double standard?
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Here’s my dad, being a dad, because he was allowed to be a dad…
XOXOXO Lindsay